Here’s an idea to end the recession for our historic new prez, Mr. Obama. If he would implement this idea, it would fix our economy in 24 hours flat.
You read right.
This “Silver Bullet Solution” promises to bring back the boom times with unprecedented prosperity. At the same time, Obama would become known as the greatest president ever.
The biggest challenge he faces is the economy.
The housing crisis keeps worsening. Car companies are only keeping their doors open with government loans. Unemployment is fast approaching double-digits as jobs evaporate daily.
State and local governments are starting to run out of money, heading for the economic dumpster as tax revenues shrink up like a dried prune.
The Fed and the Treasury are doing everything they can to pump money into the system to keep it “solvent”. But the money gets “stuck” at the banks and the companies they are bailing out. The total of this instantly-created bailout or rescue or whatever-you-call-it-money is now north of $8 trillion.
That means that the people who really need bailout money - people like you and me - can’t get any!
That’s why a silver bullet is called for. A dramatic shot into the economy that fixes things. That puts money in our pockets, sucks cars off of show room floors, and gets those darn housing prices back up where they belong. How long can we sit still and let those inventories of big screen TVs back-up, anyway?
Enough is enough. We need to get money into the average person’s pocket, and we need it there now. After all, if we had more money in our pockets, we could buy more stuff, and people would have to go back to work to sell us more stuff. Isn’t that how things work?
And Obama is just the guy to do it. He’s all about change, right?
Here’s the Silver Bullet Solution. Are you ready for this? It is so simple, you’ll wonder why no one thought of it before. It’s a piece of cake.
When Obama takes his oath of office, he can issue an Executive Order during his acceptance speech to make it happen.
You know what Executive Orders are, right? When you don’t want to follow the constitution to get things done by law, as President you can just order it. You issue an Executive Order, and that’s it!! Just like Captain Picard on The Enterprise, “Make it so.”
Any president can do this. It just so happens that Obama is the right man in the right place at the right time. Imagine that.
Who else thinks of these things besides me? Well, leave it to the common man to come up with the Right Stuff. Someone has to do it, and if it happens to be me, well, so be it.
Okay, the Silver Bullet Solution.
One simple, little thingy that will right the ship.
It will do more than just Jump start the economy., it will kick it into high gear. Americans will be able to go on a spending spree like the world has never seen before. Tax coffers will fill up and overflow (which could be the only flaw in this idea, come to think of it). Jobs will be created so fast, there’ll be a labor shortage. Paychecks will increase as companies bid against a shortage of workers.
It’s gonna be great. Really, really great.
Ready? The Silver Bullet Solution.
Here it is.
All Obama has to do is issue an Executive Order that forgives (instantly, as in upon signing the darn thing) all mortgage debt, all credit card debt, and all car loan debt.
Forgive all of it. Wipe the slate clean!!
It’s the trifecta of the century and it’s only 2009.
How’s that for instant action AND instant fame? Go Obama, go!
Instantly, everyone who is making a mortgage payment is going to have a lot more money in their pocket every month. So is everyone making credit card payments. And those car loans - ooooo la la, baby, I got cash in my pocket and it’s Saturday night. Let’s par-tee!!
So now every one with a mortgage instantly owns their home. With their new-found cash flow, and no debt (we wiped out the credit card debt, too, remember), and an outstanding credit rating, these same people can now spend like no tomorrow. (They now have outstanding credit ratings because they don’t have any debt!)
They can run out and buy new cars. A second home. Remodel the kitchen. Put in a pool. Install solar energy (for those environmentally sensitive people, gotta think of everyone here.) Take an amazing vacation.
This could work so well we could have more homes owned than there are people in the U.S.A.
Heck, knowing how Americans think, we could probably turn this whole thing around in, oh, 48 hours.
For you doubting Thomas’ out there, let’s do the math. At the end of 2008, here’s where we stood:
Total credit card debt in the U.S. = $2.583 trillion dollars
Mortgages total = $10.54 trillion
Car loans = $864 billion
Total buying/spending power: $13.984 trillion
So we go from all this debt, to having $13.984 trillion in our pockets to spend.
Let’s just round it up a bit and make it an even $14 trillion. I don’t know what planet you are from, but in the U.S.A., that is a LOT of spending power.
Talk about a Silver Bullet Solution!!!
Now you might ask, what about the banks and investors and credit card companies who are owed that debt?
This is not hard, people. Just have the Fed or the Treasury cut them a check. Better still, just make a deposit in each company’s bank account with a computer entry.
Isn’t that how they got all that bailout money? You remember, the $8 trillion+ that is being used to shore up Wall Street and the banks and AIG and the car companies.
So just do it again. Only this time, just reimburse them for all the debt that was just wiped out by Executive Order. (At the risk of being presumptuous, bless you, Obama!)
It’s simple to do. A few clicks on a keyboard, and bam - money into the accounts for any organization holding a mortgage. A few more clicks and money into the accounts for any organization holding credit card debt. And of course, hit that keyboard again for any company holding car loan debt.
I told you this was simple. All that debt gone. All that cash flow to buy things. Good credit to finance things. Clean credit cards to charge with.
It’s a nirvana solution for what ails America.
Here’s the really big - and I do mean BIG - payoff. Now all those mortgage companies, banks, car finance companies and credit card companies are loaded with cash - to lend to people to buy more things!
All those fat-cat execs will get those big bonuses again, just like they deserve. The world will be right again, finally.
Now I ask you this: what recession, no matter how big, can withstand an onslaught of cash, spending and borrowing like that. I’ll tell you - it can’t. We’ll simply overwhelm all those recession-type thingys.
That’s why I decided to call it the Silver Bullet Solution. A one-shot fix from the New Decider.
America back on its feet. Optimism overflowing.
All it takes is that Executive Order. Some marching orders given to the Treasury and the Fed. A few strokes on some keyboards.
And about 48 hours.
The rest is easy.
Happy days are here again!
